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Volume 6

by Mathcore Index

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1.
2.
Every year seems to misremember. Every year seems to forget you. A reflection of my past to carry until dirt. a glass or paper portrait bathed in television. was it of disease or of bone? we spent concave nights on couches, and a few more in the door, hesitant and undecided. Let it gather dust, leave it still. Scripted laughs got in the way of the ticking air. What was left to do but wait and watch. the clock's hands wrapped and pulled, nothing we could do. your hell is my own, every year, i feel it creep close, i can't outrun an inheritance of rust. my palms glazed with your sweat, the same gap between my brain and tongue. You exist nowhere and in mirrors. Show me what wasn’t. Show me what will be.
3.
I always say that this is a dirty mess but this night I have feared the light I can't see Let me breath Anxiety Lie to me Following my pain like a lost dog Anxiety is in my memory I always say that this is a dirty mess but this night I have feared the light I cannot feel this dread forever But my breath does no longer exist I can't see Let me breath Anxiety Lie to me Dead to me
4.
Quarantine the virus We can’t afford such freedom Pull yourself together We don’t want you to feel anything, no Passing the eyes of needles We can’t get into heaven so we’ll reside in hell We don’t want you to feel anything We just want you to scatter
5.
Sometimes I don't want my heart to break Added bonus if my bones don't ache Long ago I waded the river Thought I left you drowning within her But that's not what I think When I think of you I think about the relief Ignore the mountains of grief And sometimes I wish You were in my veins Only dead men stay (Sleep for a while Don't go astray Take in the sights and sounds Only good men stay And if your waiting For the perfect day Every moments best As you'll soon say) Suddenly I feel my spine shiver Feel the ghosts scratch at my liver But that's not what I think When I think of you I think of times I survived And of feelings you brought alive And sometimes i wish You were in my veins Only the dead can say Was it worth it all
6.
I'd bleed for you in the bedroom Because I know no other way To tell you how I feel Except in metaphors and wordplay I know how much this means to you Separate myself from the list of things that I Dwell on as a means to my own end It's easier said than done I give in to the ever-present Worship Breathe Warm breath Leave me Save yourself Take my word Your better off with someone else I feel the cold, fragrant air Mixing in with these feelings of despair I only exist in this world as a vessel Of self-fucking hatred and pain Total annihilation I could count all of my bones.
7.
8.
No melodies or reveries from maudlin dudes with weak knees Or dick strangling fantasies are hard enough to appease Scrawl it all on birch bark under leaves in outer dark This pen blends in with pitch black from French films I've learned that The donkey and the girl through labor are redeemed Stick around and do it right until you get it perfect Dress that wound Tap that dance Stick your nuts in a cocktail glass Neon gaslight work night you promised me breakfast I'm fucking tired Your fridge looks like white out my patience has expired it sucks dick Is this a casino or is this a foggy limbo Put it on the wall Frame it up Cause I suck Practice, you fuck Problem is you wrote the riff first Practiced it until my wrist hurt Pointless and arcane terrific nothing wrong with algebraic Make me famous anonymous and prolific Walking chemistry set a rat's nest of crossed wires and I am fucking tired Self obsessed perfection obnoxious and disliked but you tell me that The people that you know all say that I'm a nice asshole We are the ones who asked Draco to go harder With all the people's random tasks called to order The scythe is not what cuts the grass it's this blowtorch The den is just a portal to a red backporch
9.
Peel back my skin Peel back my skin Peel back my skin Peel back my skin Hold that pose Decompose Hold that pose Decompose Hold that pose Decompose Hold that pose Decompose Towers of flesh Towers of bone Towers of flesh Towers of bone Sleeping with the swarm Sleeping with the swarm Sleeping with the swarm Sleeping with the swarm Plant the dead and see if they grow back Plant the dead and see if they grow back Plant the dead and see if they grow back Plant the dead and see if they grow back
10.
11.
Behold, the Red Sky As a sign of the end Angels of death spread their wings and Kill us all We are expendable Crowds drenched in chemicals Reduced to matter and piles of flesh Save the rich and slaughter the rest Slaughter the rest All cities crumble Dead bodies tremble Kill us all We are expendable Crowds drenched in chemicals Reduced to matter and piles of flesh Angels of death Bring forth our final breath Sinners and Saints None of us are safe Mass genocide Bleh All cities crumble Dead bodies tremble Every city and every town must be erased Those who aren't worthy of redemption Will be sacrificed under the Red Sky The world is covered in smoke They set the fire just to watch us choke Angels of death, kill us all Angels of death, kill them all Angels of death, kill us all
12.
I am possessed from within There are legions Pulsating through every vein murderously Unholy ghosts crucify every pure thought Left in my head I am powerless Burning from within My blood begins To boil like a lake of fire Under my skin Burning from within My blood begins To boil like a lake of fire Under my skin The furnace boils quart by quart Spewing scalding blood Scalding blood through a brimstone heart Please save me from this suffering Please make it stop! Please make it stop! Please make it stop! I can feel them in my blood Please save me from this suffering Please make it stop! Please make it stop! Please make it stop! I can feel them in my blood Evil spirits have arrived They have slipped through the cracks Of the eternal divide They seek to occupy a living host Usurp the throne of the Holy Ghost At the moment when the clock stuck three I could feel the demons start to stir inside of me My blood would boil with the heat of 1000 suns I could smell the stench of sulfur when I filled my lungs In a moment of silence The spirits speak to me I hear a cacophony of devilish taunt They say there’s only one escape… ”Slit your wrists! Bleed the demons out!” ”Slit your wrists! Bleed the demons out!” ”Slit your wrists! Bleed the demons out!” ”Slit your wrists! Bleed the demons out!”
13.
Death oh won’t you take me? Oh just clutch me dear, take me far away, you are my escape for incalculable years Take me oh fucking lift my soul, away with the absence. Step into the unknown Traveling passages which we are not to quickly forget Goodbye, I can’t escape death so why make attempt to hide Goodbye to body and mind Oh goodnight, goodbye Take me comfort me through the null The light I find blinding, in dark? I devolve. There is no awakening so hasten please, hasten please, you’re all that I need. Free, times no toll on me as I reach out and take hold of eternity Free from my misery I am here I am now, I am everything Traveling passages which we are not to quickly forget Sensations receding, maybe it's deceiving, goodbye my sweet dream for I leave you this evening If, we grow to overcome Then what’s withholding us? When we surpass our constructs of time we can truly take hold of all thats divine. A never ending existence Let time pass the present it brings death overturn the tides of time Outreached my mortal hands in hopes of attaining death, the suffer, existence, pain, hope slipped away, but it was breathe, my fucking breath, brought me back to flesh. All as one, overcome, tides of time can't rewind Rewind As if we were one Overcome the sun Times tides won't rewind Embrace the divine Step to the unknown Take me holy ghost Overcome the sun Overcome The sun As if we were one
14.
You wanna die? Get in line Nobody cares about your dumb pain What a shame? Cry me a river, babe So we can drown in your theatrics We've seen this performance before That's right, Your grief is a predictable motif "Fuck your everything" Is what I would have said When I was dead Or rather Unborn A treacherous recluse Devoid of Christ's Guiding Love So you love drugs? Join the fucking club We all wear matching apathy And earn masochistic badges So you transcend? Wait till you taste skid row We'll plant your torture garden And we'll watch that shit grow Devils in your ear Devil in your residence God left this hell hole long ago So we bathe in sin Front lines of tireless shame Family and friends Have been exhausted Mother bear, Where were your when Papa forced my head to his waist? Were you washing the blood off my whites? Or hanging bleached lies on dancing clotheslines? Oh you weak honey-soaked maiden gal What good are those fangs? Or mighty roar? When your skull is thicker Than your bovine denial We shall forever stay Fucktoys
15.
It wants to stay And won’t go away Never ceasing to irritate I’ve felt it digging through my eyes to burrow deep inside my mind Eyes up, Don’t look away Dont waste this Forget your faces They’re tasteless You know you hate tricks. Take 20 paces And turn to face this So listen in you spineless fuck The pressure built up is unbearable I’m pulling teeth, I need release I want a miracle This incidental fundamental It’s empirical, how the glass will alter what is shown. Left alone The sin we savor Bear the mark Of devils favor Sleeping void When we awaken Gripping knurl When all is taken Crushed beneath the sands of the hourglass Every day another stone is placed on my chest When my lungs cave in will I catch my breath Catch my breath Drawn and quartered By my need to feel My need to bleed My duty to please My Sanity and service Separate within a furnace Placed here to unnerve us This oblivious excursus My truth, it lies subsurface In the rhythm that each verse hits My Purpose, to seek purpose How significantly worthless
16.
17.
18.
Skin crawls like the waves of the sea. Your voice is a sickness, a disease. Victim to my wrath and disdain Your voice cold and silent No longer remains Light has gone out Fall prey to the shame A shadow of a face, you'll haunt the same Joy comes from the silence of my misery. Awakened by a cold sweat in the witching hour Traumatic stress engulfing my psyche Endless cycles, The feelings repeated Never ending I can't let go. It never Ends Invasive thoughts Torment surrounding me Bury myself Endless cycles brought by me All the love inside has bled out of me like the veins in my arms. Every breath I take is a mistake I make that will surely stop my heart. Pray for the End. Giving Up in Life's Torment.
19.
20.
Cycles We have nothing to report After our quest for resilience regarding how we end Embrace your demise Lives so determined to change what we can’t alter Fate will catch up with us We are born into this curse Embrace your demise We have no answer (Futile attempts amending what makes us mortal) Our fate seemed so morose Silence in the name of all bright distant souls How can we embrace our demise We’re wasting time Understandings of this world Hopes of transcending above Fall short Our fate seemed so morose A legacy we seek Our fate seemed so morose A legacy
21.
rain falls / never thirst again / listen closer / the sound tricks / the rhythm’s wrong / deceit / fancy footsteps / meaningless colors / mocking / pinch the gullible / from their homes / fly them out / to foreign soil / a promise of life / never to return
22.
23.
My past reflecting through my eyes Im about to jump this bridge so tell me as to why I shouldn't This life is static, robotic. Abeyant, in my head. Going nowhere Going nowhere Going nowhere And its driving me mad Lights flash by my eyes But I won’t sympathize With myself anymore I’m sick With a skewed view I can’t handle it Consuming what’s left of my time Calcified over time Into something valueless Anchored by this Burden I keep take it from me take it from me Take it all Motion sickness Has me spinning Vertigo and it’s dizzying As if You could decide anyway What if I decided I don’t want to say anything? Thinking of the solace In my heads like a home to me Cycling through the phases keeps me wondering, Endlessly I dont know if I can bear with it Dejection seizes comfort Guess it doesnt matter I'm already Exposed to this evil phenomenon Rescind my life left foot planted firmly on the ledge, Stagnant air with no time left Quietly spoken to no one, under his breath “They won’t miss me and I won’t miss this” And As if from nowhere A gestured urevealed, purpose promised, power granted and knowledge prescribed “I can take you somewhere, much better than here” Almost familiar but the eyes tell of a warning sign But then it was promised, I give you my word Keep talking to yourself and you’ll never be heard It’ll your life It’ll change our life It’ll change your life for the better
24.
25.
Thin - dawn 01:09
I first remember Red flannel Gut singing, digits plucking Spanish nylon strings Tying the beginning and end Greeting and farewell Nod to a passerby The introduction to song In a mint green trailer Swallowed by the New Mexican desert A fragment of a fragment
26.
27.
Smile The shade you throw wont hide my shadow Smile Talk for a living and mute your own death Smile Ill fake this glance so youll be amused Smile You wont get far if you walk in my shoes Forfeit self Forfeit honor Forfeit respect Forfeit common decency I'm waiting for you to liberate my fucking mind I've heard of you before You walk across water You split the red sea belittle me I'll welcome death and take this darkness as my solemn bride Yerning for her cold embrace Forever smiling At Peace Arm the Cynical Share your dispair This is yours Wither away with or without it Such a pitiful burden You should smile more Put me down Size me up Four sided Triangle Swallow your delusions of grandeur You dont know me bitch Arm the Cynical
28.
Transcend my head These thoughts arbitrary It crawled up through the sun And put a shimmer in your eye that marked you the one Dump you from bridges to your secured spot in heaven I’ve got your ticket to paradise It’ll be the last stop
29.
- the tide begins to turn - your creaking vision turns to fog - suspicions shown nefarious but true - you attempt to ground yourself but the ground begins to melt and you’re left to assume - you bludgeon it - bury it - pray that this subsides - a streamlined vision floods your eyes - an illustrious light - a wicked product of the mind - a veneer - a facade - error - theories seem to nullify realities we cherish - a means to employ terror - the dark endeavor - error in facade - vivid concentration means everything to your hell - life becomes the error - fixed contempt of the public - hidden in the guise of common sight - full disclosure of torment - everything you love is qualified - everything you own is quantified - disconnect of the way out - living now becomes a means to die -
30.

about

30 more of the finest artists in underground music who embody the zeitgeist of their respective movements, including mathcore and chaotic hardcore, math rock, progressive metal, and more.

Features 2 newly remixed tracks:

-Needle Play - "Doomster Baby" (Backroom Studios mix)
-Pillar of Wasps - "THE [] INHERENT [] VICE [] OF [] ENDEARMENT"

credits

released May 24, 2020

Artwork by Karl Frandsen: www.instagram.com/frandsen_art/
Layout by Tamás Bakó: www.facebook.com/apbtbp
Logo by Keith Carlson: www.facebook.com/Keithbcarlsonart/

Special thanks to Zegema Beach Records, Silent Pendulum Records, Choke Artist:
zegemabeachrecords.bandcamp.com
silentpendulumrecords.bandcamp.com
chokeartist.storenvy.com

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Mathcore Index San Francisco, California

Promoting underground music since 2009, companion podcast available on iTunes and SoundCloud / San Francisco, New York, Dallas, Montréal.

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